Scentzilla!

By request I am reviewing Silver Rain, which I believe was asked due to my habit of making it the butt of my jokes. I am lazy, so very lazy, like, reeeeeeallly lazy, and taking cheap potshots comes easy. Maybe if I get this out of my system, I’ll tire of inflicting them on everyone.

La Prairie’s Silver Rain has one of the most exquisite flacons ever. Simply gorgeous. Sadly, the juice inside does not fulfill the promise that lovely bottle offers. Imagine the excitement of receiving a blue Tiffany’s box, only to open it and discover one of those charms in a plastic bubble that can normally be had by depositing two quarters into a grocery store vending machine.

How shall I describe the fragrance? Silver Rain is… smurfy*. It cheerily sings a mindless tune**, rolling along in bright colors and offering its impotent*** message.

Its bouquet is familiar to me, however I cannot name precisely what it calls to mind, because it reminds me of far too many fragrances that are just as forgettable as this one. You couldn’t identify it if you stuck it in a police line-up. And you should stick it in a police line-up: the price verges on criminal. I’ve tried my best, but I can’t for the life of me discern anything about the fragrance inside that justifies a $135 sale tag. Honestly, I think if you layered Jeanne Arthes Boum with Jovan Pink Musk you’d more or less arrive at Silver Rain. Berries and fruit, some silly use of florals that renders them unidentifiable (in a bad way), vanilla, wood, light musk, and… and oh bother, I hope I’m not putting you guys to sleep, too. This is not to say it’s horrible - it’s just no better or worse than a ton of other fruity-florals out there right now.

What peeves me is that Silver Rain shares its name with a poem by a favorite American poet, Langston Hughes. His In the Time of Silver Rain isn’t really one that’s close to my heart, but it’s exactly 3,000% better than this liquid mediocrity. Your time and money is better spent on reading a volume of his work containing this poem. And look, here’s a link so you can do so right now: Powell’s Books, with apparently some used copies still available.

*”They are good… He is bad.” Hee! Good lord, no wonder my parents hated it when we kids would watch this cartoon. Now it’s just hilarious to me, but… yeesh, this is what I was watching in my young formative years? It sadly explains so much about me.

**Is it me, or does the phrase “Smurf yourself a grin!” sound unspeakably dirty? Again, no wonder my parents hated letting their kids watch this show.

***In point of fact, according to the Smurf Name Generator, La Prairie Silver Rain’s Smurf name is “Erectile Dysfunction Smurf.” Make of that what you will. Or not – I’m being way too ridiculous.

Image of smurf from http://plus.es superimposed on index page from the official Silver Rain site, and the other two from its splash opening, which I must say is pretty nifty. Linked song is from Frogstar.com, which has a ton of quirky stuff like The Smurfs theme song.