Scentzilla!

The following reviews were brought to you by my sleep deprived brain. One of my twins has an ear infection so bad that his ear drum punctured. So I was up all night with him basically. The antibiotics are finally starting to kick in for my poor little guy, but it was a rough night. I don’t remember sleeping so much as I remember being repeatedly awakened and looking at the clock A LOT. Why on earth do I do that? Does it really matter what time it is when I’m up in the middle of the night? I’m gonna be bone-tired in the morning either way. What a weird habit.

Patchouli Empire: Oh. My. God. It’s dirty. No wait. Make that dirrty (with two Rs) AND dirty. Gah, I just referenced Christina Aguilara in a non-sarcastic way. I’m so ashamed. Patchouli Emprire is so humpy and SAUCY (said in the best worst British accent ever, of course.) But there’s more. I waved my wrist under my husband’s nose, and his response was, “it smells like Christmas.” Yes, yes it does! I can see it. In the Pacific Northwest (and other forested places too I presume) there’s a strong tendancy towards cut-your-own Christmas trees. I personally hate doing that, because you’re sawing at the tree, and it’s not going as quickly as you thought it should, because you bought a brand new saw so what’s the deal, but the tree won’t just give in and “timber!” already, so you keep sawing, and that’s when the cursing begins, because the tree still won’t fall, so then you get really mad and want to take the tree out Elvis-style, and by Elvis-style I mean you want to shoot the tree down with a gun, yes, a gun, and then give it a final kung-fu kick for flourish, because why won’t it DIE already, yet the tree just won’t budge from its vertical postion, then FINALLY it does fall, and you’re grumpy after all that effort, but oh!… How marvelous you smell afterwards! All dirt-like and Douglas Fir resplendant, and as long as you get a hot cocoa afterwards, you feel sort of sentimenal about that bastardly tree.* So, Patchouli Empire is Christmas and sex in short. So try it? Please? I promise the above was actually a positive review. Everyone loves Christmas and sex.

In The Library: Hey, I know that smell: it’s Powell’s Bookstore. All those old scrumptious yellowing paperbacks waiting to be read. But unlike Powell’s Bookstore, In The Library serves up a hot buttered toddy while you relax in an old leathery chair rather than standing on concrete floors in the aisleways while trying to dodge ladders and other shoppers with too hot coffee. Layering it over Patchouli Empire is not quite successful on me, but nice nevertheless, as nothing is sexier to me than people who are humpy AND well read - or at least smelling like it. In The Library is one of those fragrances that are terrible perfumes and wonderful aromas. Kudos to Mr. Brosius for not only thinking up the fragrance, but executing it in such perfect fashion.

Russian Caravan Tea: It starts out on me as fresh and invigorating as a well brewed pot of black tea. Then it begins to cool, and mellows slightly. Unfortunately on my skin, it begins to fall a bit flat in the dry down. However, I still think it’s worth the trouble of seeking out if you enjoy tea fragrances. You can read a great brief review of it at Now Smell This, where it was deemed full bottle worthy.

Smoking Leaves: I’m heartbroken over this one. It smells entirely of caramel dip on me. Sure, there’s a hint of smoke in there, but mostly it’s all caramelized something or another. Sigh. I must have sweet-amplifying skin. Now Smell This got way more smoke and only a hint of caramel in it, so obviously this is not necessarily supposed to be such a candied scent.

I’m also trying out Mr. Hulot’s Holiday, but I can make neither heads nor tails of it. It’s reminiscent of my John Frieda Kelp Help hair conditioner, which is a very good thing. Yet it’s wispy, almost dream-like on me too. I can’t decide if I like it or not, which in all honesty, can sometimes be a very good sign.

EDIT:D’oh! Forgot to mention that all of these scents can be sampled via the CB I Hate Perfume website, so you don’t need to live near his shop to be able to find out for yourself about them!

*Based on a true story, but I’m not saying whose ;)

Kid Carpet is a musician from the UK who I love to bits. His music would be categorized as “experimental,” but what does that really mean to anyone? To me they’re flat out good songs. His choice of instruments, however, is really unusual. Remember those battery-powered toy guitars made for little kids? Know those cheap Casio keyboards that you still see being unloaded at garage sales? And Furbies? This is his medium. It’s awesome.

For me, those mysteriously lonesome shoes you see lying abandoned roadside are regrettable litter. But to Kid Carpet, that’s a song. An old ad for a carpet store becomes symphonic in his toy filled orchestra.

Clip from “There’s a Shoe” -

“Bristol Carpet Factory” in entirety, because it’s too short to reasonably be able to make a clip -

Sometimes I think “experimental” is really verbal shorthand for “playful.” When children and adults play, they try new things out - they experiment. Who doesn’t like to play?

From a discussion on another blog, I had to point out one of the weirdest fragrances I’ve smelled. Comme des Garçons’ Odeur 71 is, in all honesty, a terrible perfume. By that I don’t mean it’s a bad fragrance, it’s just not “perfumey” in the manner you usually think of fragrances being.

The typewriter ribbons I smelled in Man 2 are there right on the top. Then I get a little whiff of a weirdo on a bus drinking mystery booze in a paper sack. Then a car interior that’s been freshly cleaned with Armor All and had the felt-covered bucket seats vacuumed. Tree bark. Computers. Metal knives chopping bell peppers. Wilting and limpid flowers. Finally, there is laundromat, which seems fitting given the laundry list of weirdness here. Yet the scent is not industrial or overwhelming. It’s… light but strange. I find new irregular angles in it every time I smell it. There’s some great reviews of it at Basenotes, too.

I am too young to know how Coppertone suntan lotion used to smell in its 1960s incarnation, so I can’t comment on the veracity of the fragrance Christopher Brosius is trying to recreate with CB I Hate Perfume’s Beach 1966. However, it seemed a fun arcane idea to me. Sure enough, I get a strong sensation of suntan lotion, a little sea spray, and a neat touch of the way your skin smells when brushing off that sand crust that forms on your legs after splashing in the water and then sitting back down on the sand. It’s a little goofy, and a lot perfect. (I am a big fan of goofiness in general, so that’s also a compliment, heh.)

Kid Carpet’s CD “Ideas & Oh Dears” can be ordered via either Amazon UK or as an import via Amazon US. You can also purchase the album wherever you are from iTunes. I also DEEPLY recommend you watch his video for the song “Carrier Bag.” I’ve decided it’s the best music video I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying a ton from me, because I actually OWN the Duran Duran video collection, and as we all know, Rio rules. What’s that? Oh shush up, Rio does SO rule. I refuse to acknowledge otherwise.

On a whole ‘nother note, Scentzilla was recently feature along with several other sites in Cosmetic World’s latest issue. Which? Feels awfully nifty:

Other featured sites include:

• Basenotes
• Scenteur7
• Perfume Posse
• Beauty News NYC
• Now Smell This
• Victoria’s Own
• Bois de Jasmin