Scentzilla!

For more lists, please visit: Bois de Jasmin; Now Smell This; Perfume Posse; Perfume Smellin’ Things.

Since it’s Halloween, I thought I’d begin by handing out treats this year - a mix of music and horror readings which I hope are little off the beaten path. (Because no one needs to hear Monster Mash or Purple People Eater ever again.)

Scentzilla’s Halloween Mix (follow link to download)

Dior Hypnotic Poison - Sequel fragrances rarely hold much interest for the dedicated perfume fan. They tend to be less Evil Dead II and more Weekend at Bernie’s II - that is to say, a dull revival of a corpse that would’ve been better left for dead the first time ’round. (I’d nominate Britney Spears Curious In Control or Midnight Fantasy as perfectly Weekend at Bernie’s II fragrances, for example.) Hypnotic Poison, however, bucks this trend, perhaps because it is not a sequel to the original Poison’s composition. It is a sequel to the concept behind it. Poison reeked of death by tuberose - floral asphyxiation. Hypnotic Poison hides its murderous intent inside a bitter almond note, the smell of cyanide, giving the wearer a taste of death before realizing what Dior is up to. It’s a wickedly tricky perfume to wear. Hypnotic Poison’s musky-vanilla heart can wear as Play-Doh on some or as a somewhat post-modern oriental on others. Either way, it’s a fragrance that is worth the risk.

Molinard Habanita - A little powder, some lipstick, and tight leather pants. Habanita calls to mind Tura Satana in Russ Meyer’s awful/brilliant Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! She was gorgeous, curvy (well, it is a Russ Meyer flick) and deadly with the kung-fu. Asses will be kicked. Names will be taken. Lipstick will be left on someone’s collar. Habanita’s powdery rose note emerges from a leathery base that includes vanilla and vetiver. It’s a fragrance that suggests beauty is the beast. “I never try anything. I just do it. And I don’t beat clocks, just people! Wanna try me?”

CB I Hate Perfume CBMusk - If pumpkin pie had body odor, this is what that pie’s armpits would smell like. I can’t decide if that sounds inviting or appalling, so I’m just gonna leave that mental picture for you to ponder.

I Profumi di Firenze Zenzero - Fragrances don’t have to be complicated to be enjoyable. Zenzero is not a great perfume. It’s not even a very good one. But boy oh boy, does it easily pass the “does it smell good?” test. This mainly vanilla concoction is brightened by a nearly tangible note of crystallized ginger. A spritz or two makes skin smell candy coated. Some may decry the lack of sophistication and subtlety as childish. And you know what? That’s okay. Life is short, and childhood is even shorter. I think it serves us well to be childish from time to time.

CB I Hate Perfume Burning Leaves - I must list another Christopher Brosius creation. Brosius is like the Coldplay of perfumery - he captures ambiance and mood in a way that few can. With Burning Leaves he connotes the crunch of fallen leaves, smoke curling from chimneys no longer dormant, and warm caramel dip waiting for apples, but with a sense of austerity rather than sentimentality.

Guerlain L’Heure Bleue - If years of watching Tyra Banks on America’s Next Top Model have taught me anything, it’s that you can smile WITH YOUR EYES. Therefore, it’s not too far a stretch to suggest you can chew with your nose. L’Heure Bleue is kind of a gourmand for people who don’t like gourmands. Oh it’s a floral, all right. But it’s a sweet and somewhat vanillic floral, bearing an oddly chilled spiciness that makes the mouth water without any thought of food. A fully satisfying fragrance.

Jean Desprez Bal a Versailles - What haven’t I and countless others already said about this one? There’s nothing new to say, I suppose. It is the Big Mama Thorton of “oriental” perfumes: loud and a little blousy, without apology for depicting femininity as womanly strength. Bal a Versailles’ complex layering of florals, woods, amber and musk remain unequaled by any fragrance to have come out since. If your idea of feminine is dolled-up pixie princess, you will be better served wearing any number of fruit cup fragrances, many of them featuring the prosaic trend word “pink.” If not, Bal a Versailles was and remains one of the more profound feminine fragrances ever made.

Isabey Gardenia - Isabey’s Gardenia has been around a long while, with its current incarnation made by Panouge. The vintage Gardenia fell more on the woody and animalic side than the latest version does, but this doesn’t negate how pretty and charming the new one is. The creaminess of ylang ylang features prominently alongside a dewy green note in the heart, a rather watery jasmine, and sandalwood at the base. It feels sticky sweet in summer, but just right for fall. Like most gardenia fragrances, it’s less than honest towards the flower itself. However, Isabey’s Gardenia still many a perfume fan’s favorite, and one of mine, too.

Gres Cabaret - Madame Gres’ once legendary design house has been reduced to a paltry perfume brand, which was sold off in the eighties. Parfums Gres is now best known for making boring new fragrances or cheapened versions of old fragrances. One exception to this is Cabaret, a 2002 offering that I feel is still underappreciated and underrated. All the notes of Cabaret are filtered through a cloud of cigarette smoke. Not smokey though, just… hazy. Hazy rose, hazy vetiver, hazy iris, and hazy musk. It is quite something to insinuate cigarette smoke without also implying tobacco. And somehow Michel Almairac, the credited perfumer, pulled that trick off beautifully.

Paddywax Raw Honey candle - By the time us kids had worked our way through the various tiers of Halloween candy - the first rank of course being chocolate, the second being the good fruit stuff like Skittles and Starburst, etc - we’d wind up with a Custer’s Last Stand of leftover candy. They were the inept losers in the Halloween candy war. These were the ones that sat waiting to be eaten for so long that our Moms and Dads threatened us with a “eat it or we’re getting rid of it.” The Super Bubbles, the hard candies, those Tootsie Rolls that weren’t Tootsie Rolls but weird fruit flavors that old people liked to hand out, and Bit O’ Honey. Oh if I could go back now and rescue all those Bit O’ Honeys that met inglorious death in the garbage can. I have grown to love that sticky chewy mess as an adult. Luckily, I now have my own kids who reject it, so they don’t object to Mom pilfering their treat sacks to find it. Raw Honey consequently puts me in a fall and Halloween mood, and though the candle smells more like actual honey than Bit O’ Honey, that’s okay. I have a hunch Bit O’ Honey candle would never catch on anyhow.

Happy Halloween!