Scentzilla!

The following was written by my sister Sasha, otherwise referenced here by me as my favorite guinea pig:

Sitting in my car, searching for music that wouldn’t exacerbate my frustrations with traffic, I chose to listen to a lame P. Diddy commercial over lame pop music or most likely a lame P. Diddy single that could have been playing or “dropping” at that very moment on another station. He wanted you to buy Unforgivable for your dad on Father’s Day. Diddy said in the radio ad,”Your dad is number one so you should get him the number one smell good scent, Unforgivable.”

Now, when Puffy talks the world listens for some reason. But I am confused. Why is the number one smell good scent… unforgivable? What has it done? What is it doing now? Should I be worried?

But then I guess the number one smell good scent shouldn’t be Forgivable either: you might as well name it Tolerable, Not Too Pleasant But I Can Stand It, or I Can Take It If You Can.

For those of you not revolted by Puffy’s music and lifestyle, good news! He has two versions of Unforgivable that are apparently indistinguishable from each other. That’s right, YOU can choose the way YOU want to be Unforgivable in two totally unnoticable ways! Now, I must admit I find it strange he only has two Unforgivables, because I was totally prepared to “unforgive” him more than twice. On the other hand, I also find it odd that he wanted his personal scent to be… Unforgivable… twice.

However, I suppose I should consider the possiblity that Unforgivable was named to reflect Sean Comb’s music career. It is unforgivable that his half-assed attempt at “remixes” and production have most likely sold just as many records as his “inspiration” and victims’ originals; It is unforgivable that he can just grunt and moan in the background of another musician’s song and claim credit and originality. I theorize that since The Police or David Bowie do not have fragrances of their own for him to “remix,” he was forced to copy his own scent which is in turn apparently reminiscent of a fragrance called Creed Millésime Impérial. This leads me to wonder, if an Unforgivable III were made, would it end up smelling like a xerox of a xerox of a xerox? A reproduction that’s been through the copier so many times that the ink has faded and said document is neither legible nor helpful? I shouldn’t think too much about that.

P. Diddy offends me in so many ways I resent him. Obviously, he has his music career…..gross. He has a fragrance…grosser. Now, he has a few paragraphs I unfortunately felt compelled to write about him…grossest.

My message to you, Puff Daddy, is this: My father will not be smelling like you, Puff Daddy, or if you will, the daddy of puffs, even if it is your self-proclaimed number one smell good scent. When I think of gifting the man who bought me ice cream when I had a bad day or who drove me to and from softball practice, anything Unforgivable does not come to mind.

~ by SASHA

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 19th, 2007 at 5:23 pm and is filed under Other Beauty Nonsense. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.