10 Rejected Limited Edition Christmas Fragrances
1. Proposed fragrance: Lancome’s It’s a Christmas Miracle
Reason for rejection: Prohibitive sales opportunity. Christmas miracles only happen on 34th Street.
2. Proposed fragrance: Burberry’s Red-Nosed Reindeer
Reason for rejection: Proved popular with a focus group, but as it turns out, the resource for red-nose reindeer musk is extremely limited.
3. Proposed fragrance: Givenchy’s Mincemeat Pi
Reason for rejection: Everybody loves pi, but no one likes mincemeat, let alone 3.14159265358979323846… ounces of it.
4. Proposed fragrance: Balmain’s AdVent Vert
Reason for rejection: Counting down the days ’til one can finally wear perfume will only annoy people.
5. Proposed fragrance: Givenchy’s How the Grivenchy Stole Christmas
Reason for rejection: On Christmas Day, the heart notes expand three sizes. Smells great, but shatters the bottle.
6. Proposed fragrance: Patou’s Joy to the World
Reason for rejection: Just like every year, the world asked for a gift receipt so it could exchange Joy for something cooler, like “Power” or “Money.”
7. Proposed fragrance: Lancome’s Treesor
Reason for rejection: Unwieldly bottle shape requires a stand to display, and those stands seem to take forever to get working straight.
8. Proposed fragrance: Chanel No. 5 Golden Rings
Reason for rejection: Five golden rings, but Nicole Kidman holds the One Ring, which was thrown back into Mount Doom and destroyed, effectively thwarting her evildoing…. for now.
9. Proposed fragrance: The Cattle are L’eau-ing
Reason for rejection: Concerns over possible lactose intolerance issues.
10. Proposed fragrance: L’Artisan’s Dzingle Bells
Reason for rejection: Complaints of mysterious “batman smells”
Bonus proposed fragrance: Thierry Mugler’s Heavenly Host Christmas Coffret
Reason for rejection: An all Angel army? Too much of even a good thing is still way too much.
December 22nd, 2006 at 7:38 am
Dzingle bells! Genius!
December 22nd, 2006 at 11:07 am
Hilarious! Thanks for sharing this :) Happy holidays!
December 22nd, 2006 at 2:55 pm
Thanks Leopoldo, it was really between Dzingle Bells and Jingle Bel Ami, but Dzing won out for utter silliness.
Lauren, thank you, happy holidays to yourself as well :)
December 22nd, 2006 at 4:11 pm
You are a very clever girl!! Happy Holidays and thanks for the laughs.
December 22nd, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Merry Christmas to you as well, Cait: Wishing you a safe and happy holiday!
December 22nd, 2006 at 8:17 pm
But I WANT the mysterious batman smells! I bet it’s sort of skanky.
Also the Treesor reminds me of any number of bottles I already have that knock each other over like Dominoes.
Thanks for the laughs!
December 22nd, 2006 at 10:11 pm
How the Grivenchy Stole Christmas!! Haaa! Dzinglebells. Love it!
December 23rd, 2006 at 9:46 am
Wonderful post– loved them all!
December 23rd, 2006 at 12:13 pm
March, I bet it smells like a Robin’s egg…
Marina, thank you. Merry Christmas!
Giselle, thanks! And Merry Christmas to you.
December 23rd, 2006 at 5:28 pm
Hilarious! Happy holidays to you!
December 23rd, 2006 at 8:10 pm
You are not only a verbal genius, but pretty quick around the PhotoShop! Great post! Wonderful ideas!
–SniffQ
December 24th, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Merriest Holiday Wishes to you and yours, Katie! Thanks for the great laughs here and on Seldom Nice Nowadays. Your blogs are brilliant. xoxo
December 24th, 2006 at 2:45 pm
greeneyes, SniffQ, and Sali, thanks to all of you, and I hope you all have a very merry Christmas!
December 24th, 2006 at 6:51 pm
ROTFL - priceless! Very clever. The very idea of Mincemeat Pi makes me giggle. :-D
December 25th, 2006 at 2:06 am
Merry Christmas to you and your family! poor rudolf… I can’t wait to read more posts like this! hohoho
December 27th, 2006 at 3:01 pm
The Best Christmas countdown ever! I particularly like Mincemeat Pi and the Cattle are L’eauing. (My husband, as a child, used to sing “Away in a Manger” all year round, but thought the line was “the kettle is blowing”). I lurk here all the time, but just had to comment because this post gave me such a laugh….
December 27th, 2006 at 4:06 pm
Flora, Andy, and Tigs: thank you! I hope your holiday was great, and have an excellent New Year.
December 29th, 2006 at 8:44 am
Bravo! thanks for the fragrant giggles!
December 29th, 2006 at 8:49 am
Too funny! That is comic genius that only your fellow fragrance lovers can fully appreciate :)
December 29th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
Thanks sara and beauty chick, have a happy New Year!
December 30th, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Really Funny Stuff! I am blindly typing over the over lapping text on my end so I have no idea if this comment will make up! But I’m gaving a good chuckle here!