Looking to the Stars for Guidance?
Everyone and their dog is buzzing with news of Chandler Burr’s new NY Times T Style perfume column. You can even see his teevee apperance on the Today Show on your computer, via msnbc.com. (I only got video to work on IE, so other browsers appear to not work for the link.) I can’t help but feel happy for him and hopeful that this may influence people to look at perfumery as something beyond just the smelly junk people waste money on. Why we as a culture undervalue our sense of smell is beyond me (clearly.) Our noses can smell molecules, for crying out loud. Isn’t that neat? That’s neat.
Burr made much to do about his use of a four star rating system in early publicity, but I guess he’s going with five stars now. Eh, whichever. In a little celebratory ode to his new column, I will be rating by star today. You might call it an homage; you more likely will call it an idiotic rip-off. But in my defense, I’d like to point out that Burr never says which kind of stars he’s giving out. I’d like to rectify that oversight. Except mine is based on four stars, because I didn’t plan on five back when I started writing this stupid post. And also, I am too lazy to resize everything to fit again.
LuckyScent - Untitled #1 by Yosh Han
Untitled is a collection of fragrances commissioned by LuckyScent with various perfumers to create unique selections for their customers. This first of the series by Yosh Han is much softer, doughier than I thought it would be from reading the notes. The aroma implies the warmth of honey while losing the sticky feral sweetness. #1 features spices that remind me of pastry: they’re rolled out, dispersed thinly across the whole fragrance. You never bite into a big satisfying chunk of anything in this fragrance. I can’t help but wish #1 had a big growly animalic note inside it, but then, that’s a trap to judge a perfume on how you wish it were rather than as it is. (A trap, by the way, that I am guilty of falling into all too frequently.) At the base is a litttle myrhh, and mostly musk, but it’s a very vintage-feeling, sweet powdery musk. #1 is not great, but it’s nice.
Untitled #1 earns 2 Sigur Ros
Thierry Mugler - Alien
Alien is not so bad as some would have it believed. It starts with a huge jump of jasmine and a sandalwood undercurrent. Alien is loud, but then, jasmine in any great quantity simply won’t shut up, so that’s not surprising. What is surprising is what a big part neroli plays here, growing proportionate in volume to the jasmine as it wears. A slight green springy twinge pops up, but that’s about the extent of the middle. Alien dries down to an almost soapy amber, with a woodiness that is not much softer than the other notes here. Ultimately, this fragrance shrieks like a basilisk. And like a basilisk’s shriek, there is no real message, the deafening cry alone is the sole aim. Nevertheless, I cannot help but feel that 50 years from now, someone will find a bottle of this at an estate sale, spray it on, and then bemoan they just don’t make ‘em like they used to. Heh.
Alien is awarded 1/2 a Sigourney Weaver… and 2 Tommy Lees (big show, little backbeat)
Lolita Lempicka - Au Masculin Fraicheur
D.O.A.
Victim is male. Appears to have been injured with masculine fragrance cliches, then bludgeoned with musk. Musk was dark but only lightly used, which we can determine by the low impact of the fatal wounds. Key suspect has not been taken into custody, since it is as yet undetermined if this was premeditated murder, or an accidental homicide.
Masculine au Fraicheur receives one William Peterson, mostly because I want someone to explain what the hell happened here.
Prince Matchabelli - Cachet
Hey! A hyacinth-bearing scent that not only can I bear, but actually enjoy! Neat. Cachet may come across as old-fashioned, or more likely, dated, but smells nice whatever the case. If you can stand a slightly thin formula, enjoy tart jasmine and roses, and like rather acetonal chypre and wood combos (think Magie Noire or Nocturnes edt) then this may be worth trying out. Cachet would make a nice choice for shoppers on a budget.
Cachet wins 2 Princes (thank god he’s reformed from his QWERTY hating ways, so we can all go back to typing about him, free from fear)
Nanette Lepore - Shanghai Butterfly
This fragrance begins with twist that smells like the unripened pears still hanging on my backyard tree. Alas that fades within seconds. Then I’m left with the same apple/cedar/musk combination a ton of wannabe D&G Light Blue fragrances are using these days. I still kind of like it, though. It’s formulaic, but since I already like the formula, and because Shanghai Butterfly offers a dewy softness that Light Blue lacks, I found myself enjoying it. I’d never pay anywhere near full price for a bottle, however: it’s pretty but kind of dumb.
Shanghai Butterfly earns one Mariah Carey, and one Ashton Kutcher.
DSH Perfumes - La Plage
What an lovely variation on cucumber. La Plage falls within the marine genre, and I’d place it as an ocean fragrance. The notes feel chilly and smoothly blended, but not entirely abstract as a whole. La Plage calls to mind the experience of tasting salt air on the wind while staring at the sea. La Plage soothes craggy nerves, but not without a touch of melancholy. Its aroma may not cure all that ails you on a rough day, but I sure bet it helps. La Plage is a limited edition, and will not be available after Labor Day.
3 Robert Smiths for La Plage
Serge Lutens - Gris Clair
Gris Clair transparently sends up cold, cold lavender, which is contrasted with warm, warm woods. Sometimes from a distance, the smoke from a forrest fire can appear hazy, like a thick and illusionary mist. And so it goes here. The ashes are so misty as to draw a beautiful gauze across the lavender, rather than a chocking burnt sensation. As it dries down, the fragrance turns surprisingly vanillic on me, which is wonderful. (Note about my skin: if a vanilla bean so much as passes by the bottle, I tend to believe that I found vanilla in the juice, so this may not wear that way on anyone else for all I know.) For those who prematurely declared the death of lavender, Gris Clair will graciously reintroduce you to that admittedly ubiquitous note from perfume history. Clearly lavender is capable of rocking contemporary noses if given a chance. It was once said that 50 Million Elvis Fans Can’t Be Wrong, and nearly fifty years later it turns out they are still aren’t wrong. Perhaps the lavender fans have always been onto something, too.
Gris Clair gets 2 1/2 Elvises (Elvii?) and 1 Phoenix, because lavender will rise from the ashes… uh, again.
Love, loved, loved your stars! I never thought I’d say these words - but “I’m tempted to try DSH Perfumes - La Plage because you gave it three Robert Smiths”!!
grant
30 Aug 06 at 7:08 am
Katie, you slay me. One Peterson! I loved that. I also loved “shrieking like a basilisk”. And two and a half Elvises and one Phoenix…hahaha! What a way to start the day!
Marina
30 Aug 06 at 7:13 am
You’re better than Burr, baby. I give your rating system four stars. “Out of how many?” That’s for me to know and you to find out, OK?
Tania
30 Aug 06 at 8:27 am
Hilarious! You are so funny, and right on with your descriptions, too.
AngelaS
30 Aug 06 at 9:21 am
Your rating system is the best! I was particularly amused by the Shanghai Butterfly stars.
kuri
30 Aug 06 at 9:29 am
If only DSH perfumes worked on me but they really don’t. Love the rating system. And Shanghai Butterfly started out really peppery on me then buzzed into nothing.
Jenn
30 Aug 06 at 10:21 am
LOL…”Alien is awarded 1/2 a Sigourney Weaver… and 2 Tommy Lees”…excellent, K, just absolutely perfect.
Robin
30 Aug 06 at 10:25 am
That was hilarious! And hugs and kisses for making the comments a bigger font, I was feeling very geezer-ish. Must try the Cachet and La Plage. On your word, I will break down and sniff Alien with an open mind.
Funny about Cachet … you know what I almost sent you for the blind sample? Chantilly (as in, I feel very…) But I was worried you’d be pissed. I’m waiting for the $3.99 Xmas sale on those, gonna get me a bottle.
marchlion
30 Aug 06 at 10:50 am
You really out did yourself on this one…loved it. lol
David Ray
30 Aug 06 at 3:27 pm
Wonderful, Katie
I don’t know either whether it is Elvises or Elvii(?) but I sure know your stars are fabulous. And thank you for declaring that Lavender has not passed the river to live lost and lonely in Hades land. Lavender scents are not dead, for sure….I know.
Andy
30 Aug 06 at 10:40 pm
I’m with Grant on this — Robert Smith — “Standing on a beach, looking at the sea…” Now I have to go play that, can’t get the ear worm out of my head! Andy — it is Elvii, as in the Las Vegas troupe “The Flying Elvii” that leap out of airplanes parachuting.
Brilliant and funny as usual, Katie!
Anya
31 Aug 06 at 4:42 am
Forgot to mention I don’t know who Sigur Ros are, but I’m thinking lame? They look it. Hell, they look depressed.
Anya
31 Aug 06 at 4:43 am
LOVED this. Really delightful! Ha! Sigur Ros are a really great esoteric ethereal Icelandic band that produce music that is almost more feeling than sound, so I guess boring is a matter of interpretation.
house of stone
31 Aug 06 at 4:48 am
“Crazy, you’re crazy for showin’ those photos…”
[mimics her best Patsy Cline]
You are a MADWOMAN, and if I weren’t already married, I’d propose to you, Krazy K…
P.S.- I really needed those laughs- thanks so much…
chayaruchama
31 Aug 06 at 8:05 am
K, sorry for the flow in the star system comments, but I just tried to email you and it bounced, saying your mailbox is full. Might as well make it public, because a big day escaped our blogworld completely. It’s Blog Day 2006, and I was writing Twisty that I included her blog and bcc’ing Katie, whom I turned on to Twisty.
You can read more about the blog day on my blog. How in the heck did we all miss it? ! ? !
Anya
31 Aug 06 at 2:12 pm
Yeowch, I love Sigur Ros. Can’t speak to the Yosh. Your system and comments are hilarious, and much more clever then that Chandler guy.
griff
31 Aug 06 at 4:36 pm
Very well done and creative reviews. Much applause from here for the really quite witty stars. Humor sans vulgarity or twee-ness….delightfully refreshing. Thank You.
Lisa S
31 Aug 06 at 8:07 pm
Grant, ach, thanks. Three Robert Smiths was really the only rating I could give it. But keep in mind, I have a serious blind spot when it comes to salty fragrances, so I’m a little weak when it comes to ocean scents.
Marina, thanks. Good to know I amused ya.
Tania, aw, that’s sweet. Even if it’s four stars out of one hundred stars, well… hey, I still scored some stars on the Tbone scale!
Angela, thank you!
kuri, thanks, it’s a nice smelling frag, just kind of dopey.
Jenn, you got peppery? Wow. That sounds a little more interesting than what I got. I’ve not delved too deeply into the DSH stuff, admittedly, but this one was so lovely and simple that I had to mention it.
Robin, it’s always a pleasure to have given you a chuckle.
March, oh dear god. I’m open to giving the modern incarnation of Chantilly another try, but the last time in the recent past I’ve sniffed at it in the drugstore I was just apalled. It seemed like swill compared to what it used to be way back in the day. Maybe if I can get over how it used to be I might like it? Cachet is not mind-blowing, but very pretty, and worthy of consideration as a cheapie.
David, thanks, appreciate it!
Andy, I think lavender is just waiting for some brilliant mind (yours?) to make people appreciate it again :)
Anya, heh, thrilled to pass along an ear worm to you, my dear. It’s a very nice one, at least ;P My email is a flat out mess, and I am still trying to straighten it out, I promise!
house of stone, yeah, I wouldn’t describe the Sigur Ros as being boring, as they are really innovative and interesting. But they kind of leave me cold, likely due to the fact that as you mention, they are pretty esoteric.
Chaya, Oooh, I’ve always wanted to be a madwoman! Heh. That is a silly, but most utterly perfect compliment. Thank you.
griff, thank you. I’m not sure I’m particularly more clever than Burr at all, but I do appreciate the sentiment!
Lisa S, well, maybe it’s just a leetle twee, hehehe. Thank you for the applause, I swear I can hear it from here :)
Scentzilla!
5 Sep 06 at 5:58 pm
Excellent, Katie! LOL.
I’m glad you’ve found Gris Clair so much to your liking. I wouldn’t want to be alone in praising its contemporary lavender greatness. You used the word “gauze” and that’s the feeling I get from it, too. It wears vanillic on me but not cloyingly so, just like a fresh, aromatic gourmand veil, just a little bit like Delices de Cartier minus the cherry musk.
I love the Elvis stars–LOL. Of course, if Elvis is the King of Rock, then Chuck Berry must be the MASTER of the UNIVERSE. ;-) Great work, K.
Sali
5 Sep 06 at 9:23 pm
Hi Sali, oh no, you’re not alone at all. I won’t proclaim Gris Clair as the greatest thing since sliced bread, but it’s sure lovely to wear. Almost a “skin” lavender, in a way. Or, uh, at least on me it is :) Aw, Chuck Berry… I’m blanking completely on what fragrance would earn even one Chuck Berry. Maybe Bal a Versailles. Maybe.
Scentzilla!
6 Sep 06 at 3:31 pm