Perfume Reviews in Limerick Form
Nothing is quite so frustrating as writer’s block. To shake myself out of it, I thought I would try writing poetical rather than lamely attempting to wax poetical. Goofus that I am, I like my poems to rhyme. It’s not that, say, the haiku doesn’t have intristic beauty, of course. I just happen to personally favor the limerick structure. I kind of hope it catches on for perfume reviews. Wouldn’t that be awesome? Especially if were done by folks who know what they are doing instead. (I also am wishing that eventually limerick movie reviewing will catch on someday as well.)
Lulu Beauty ~ Lulu Mae
Lulu Mae rolls out freesia and musk
It’s wearable from dawn until dusk
I wear it for summer
The only bummer
Is it’s as tricky to find as whale tusk.
Robert Piguet ~ Bandit
There once was a woman from Nantucket,
Who’d wear her Bandit by the bucket
Her leather flower smelled raw,
But in the haunting style of Degas,
If Degas had used a dirty hand to pluck it.
Man, I tried to make a Nantucket limerick that wasn’t dirty because I thought it would be funny, but as it turns out you CAN’T make a Nantucket limerick clean.
Diptyque ~ Philosykos
In search of the perfect fig
Philosykos might flip your wig
To reveal my own bias,
Compared to L’eau de Figue Mathias,
It’s only but lipstick on a pig.
It’s actually quite creamy and nice, I just happen to *personally* like the green rindiness of Creation Mathias’ L’eau de Figue better. But this one is good, too. Really! Unfortunately, the limerick form does not particularly lend itself to moderation.
Lolita Lempicka ~ Lolita Lempicka
Lolita Lempicka’s bottle is neat
It opens misleadingly sweet
Further down the path
Is the dry down math
50% Play-Doh, 30% armpit, 20% feet
The Body Shop ~ Dewberry
Dewberry pretty much kicks ass
Pine sap and berry, but alas
It can smell like cat pee
If your skin isn’t on me
Still… don’t give this one a pass
Stella McCartney ~ Stella
Stella is the girl who’s perfectly tanned
Who has the perfectly manicured hand
She sure can entice
Since she’s perfectly nice
To me she’s just perfectly bland