CB I Hate Perfume ~ Five Fragrances
The following reviews were brought to you by my sleep deprived brain. One of my twins has an ear infection so bad that his ear drum punctured. So I was up all night with him basically. The antibiotics are finally starting to kick in for my poor little guy, but it was a rough night. I don’t remember sleeping so much as I remember being repeatedly awakened and looking at the clock A LOT. Why on earth do I do that? Does it really matter what time it is when I’m up in the middle of the night? I’m gonna be bone-tired in the morning either way. What a weird habit.
Patchouli Empire: Oh. My. God. It’s dirty. No wait. Make that dirrty (with two Rs) AND dirty. Gah, I just referenced Christina Aguilara in a non-sarcastic way. I’m so ashamed. Patchouli Emprire is so humpy and SAUCY (said in the best worst British accent ever, of course.) But there’s more. I waved my wrist under my husband’s nose, and his response was, “it smells like Christmas.” Yes, yes it does! I can see it. In the Pacific Northwest (and other forested places too I presume) there’s a strong tendancy towards cut-your-own Christmas trees. I personally hate doing that, because you’re sawing at the tree, and it’s not going as quickly as you thought it should, because you bought a brand new saw so what’s the deal, but the tree won’t just give in and “timber!” already, so you keep sawing, and that’s when the cursing begins, because the tree still won’t fall, so then you get really mad and want to take the tree out Elvis-style, and by Elvis-style I mean you want to shoot the tree down with a gun, yes, a gun, and then give it a final kung-fu kick for flourish, because why won’t it DIE already, yet the tree just won’t budge from its vertical postion, then FINALLY it does fall, and you’re grumpy after all that effort, but oh!… How marvelous you smell afterwards! All dirt-like and Douglas Fir resplendant, and as long as you get a hot cocoa afterwards, you feel sort of sentimenal about that bastardly tree.* So, Patchouli Empire is Christmas and sex in short. So try it? Please? I promise the above was actually a positive review. Everyone loves Christmas and sex.
In The Library: Hey, I know that smell: it’s Powell’s Bookstore. All those old scrumptious yellowing paperbacks waiting to be read. But unlike Powell’s Bookstore, In The Library serves up a hot buttered toddy while you relax in an old leathery chair rather than standing on concrete floors in the aisleways while trying to dodge ladders and other shoppers with too hot coffee. Layering it over Patchouli Empire is not quite successful on me, but nice nevertheless, as nothing is sexier to me than people who are humpy AND well read - or at least smelling like it. In The Library is one of those fragrances that are terrible perfumes and wonderful aromas. Kudos to Mr. Brosius for not only thinking up the fragrance, but executing it in such perfect fashion.
Russian Caravan Tea: It starts out on me as fresh and invigorating as a well brewed pot of black tea. Then it begins to cool, and mellows slightly. Unfortunately on my skin, it begins to fall a bit flat in the dry down. However, I still think it’s worth the trouble of seeking out if you enjoy tea fragrances. You can read a great brief review of it at Now Smell This, where it was deemed full bottle worthy.
Smoking Leaves: I’m heartbroken over this one. It smells entirely of caramel dip on me. Sure, there’s a hint of smoke in there, but mostly it’s all caramelized something or another. Sigh. I must have sweet-amplifying skin. Now Smell This got way more smoke and only a hint of caramel in it, so obviously this is not necessarily supposed to be such a candied scent.
I’m also trying out Mr. Hulot’s Holiday, but I can make neither heads nor tails of it. It’s reminiscent of my John Frieda Kelp Help hair conditioner, which is a very good thing. Yet it’s wispy, almost dream-like on me too. I can’t decide if I like it or not, which in all honesty, can sometimes be a very good sign.
EDIT:D’oh! Forgot to mention that all of these scents can be sampled via the CB I Hate Perfume website, so you don’t need to live near his shop to be able to find out for yourself about them!
*Based on a true story, but I’m not saying whose ;)
April 21st, 2006 at 12:59 pm
Okay, I have to get me some of these samples. I’m going to work off your list and Robin’s list. FYI I am RIGHT THIS SECOND smelling CB Black March (I mean, I had to, right?) and it is just so wonderful. On my RIGHT hand I have Wickle C&V, so basically I could not be happier or smell better than I do right now. PS I am so so so sorry about the ear infection, there is nothing worse (well, except the stomach virus. That’s messier.) Also Vow was lovely, but I admit I was a little sad that Hot Dog didn’t smell like… you know. A hotdog. I had my hopes. I could wear it with Cola.
April 21st, 2006 at 1:21 pm
Heh, yup, with a name like that you’re pretty much compelled to try it I think. Yeah, Hot Dog is actually a fig scent. It’s supposed to be for dogs, but it’s human safe to use, and surprisingly nice at that. I’m thinking there’s no use in smelling like cola and hot dogs until there’s also a potato chip scent too ;) So glad you also dug the Wickle Chestnut and Vetiver. It’s a happy making fragrance.
April 21st, 2006 at 4:07 pm
Oh, I HATE those pesky ear infections. My son had a million of them til we finally gave in and got tubes. Wishing you both a full night’s sleep tonight!
So glad to read about Patchouli Empire, I had a mishap with my sample and never got to try it properly.
April 22nd, 2006 at 3:48 am
Sorry about your little boy…it’s so hard to watch them suffering and not be able to help, isn’t it? My son had many awful ear infections until, like Robin’s son, he got those little tubes inserted during a tonsillectomy. (Never a problem since.) Now I’m wondering about those CBs, and wondering if he ships overseas, and wondering if I can make it the other side of London next week to find the only UK source of CB… This is too much wondering for a Saturday…off to get some coffee!
April 22nd, 2006 at 4:39 am
I am so sorry to hear about your son’s ear infection. I hope he gets better very soon and you get some sleep!
As usual, I was loughing and snickering while reading your review. Humpy AND well read…well, who could resists that, right? I’ve got to try that one. Not sure about the patchouli one though. It sounds a little scary.
April 22nd, 2006 at 1:06 pm
Robin, well thankfully he doesn’t have too much trouble usually with ear infections frequently enough for tubes. For that I am grateful. It’s just this time now that he’s got one, it’s a real doozy of an infection. Hey R, I already know I’m going to buy the Patch Empire when fall/winter rolls back around, so if either of us remembers I will send you a sample myself later in the year. But, uh, the odds of either of us remembering are kind of slim aren’t they? Hee!
Nina, for some reason I was thinking he does NOT ship overseas? I could be wrong there. Maybe if you call the shop directly instead of via the online store they might be willing to do it? It seems kind of rotten that the availability across the ocean is not so good either, and add to that the inability to sample the whole range… ay. Maybe they will work something out for you? That sucks otherwise. If not, I do hope you get to try them out in the store that carries his stuff not too long from now. Patch Empire and the Tea seem more cool weather scents to me, but the Mr. H would be so convinient to be able to sniff before summer.
Marina, oh, I hope I didn’t put you off with the Patch. Really, I’m not sure it’s one you would wear all the time, but I think you would dig it very much. I’ll email you later today, btw.
April 22nd, 2006 at 7:08 pm
please, please, please write a book. I need to laugh and admire talented wit more often. xox marls
April 22nd, 2006 at 9:20 pm
All right, you’ve made it too convenient for me not to smell these already. First on my lemming list is Beach 1966.
April 23rd, 2006 at 9:27 am
Thanks Marlen. No book, hee! Sometimes I can barely get through writing a single post!
Sali, the beach one is the one I think you’re most likely to dig, but you should so try the Mr. H, too, because I am 99.9% sure that one’s gonna be right up your alley.
April 23rd, 2006 at 10:56 am
That’s exactly it: he makes great aromas that aren’t necessarily great perfumes. Liked Patchouli Empire a lot, to my surprise. Who knew I’d be in for patchouli? Plus I’ve met Chris a couple of times and talked to him at length in the shop, and he’s smart as a whip and a genuine smell enthusiast. Which doesn’t make someone a great perfumer, but it sure is nice when you’re spending money to know that the person profiting is a cool guy.
April 23rd, 2006 at 11:35 am
Ack, I should have waited to make my order. Well, I have Beach coming to me. Maybe I’ll stop by the shop one day and try Mr. H in person. What a name! “Excuse me…what is that perfume you’re wearing?” (breathy tone) “I’m wearing Mr. H”. Groovy.
April 23rd, 2006 at 12:09 pm
I’m slow…I see now that you meant Mr. Hulot’s Holiday because I went to the site and couldn’t find Mr. H. Wispy-dreamy shampoo-like does sound like my thing. I shouldn’t have been turned off to the leather note right off the bat. Shucks. Thanks for the rec!
April 23rd, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Oh,oh ear infections. I hope your little guy feels better soon, and you can get some sleep. I got my 1st ear infection at age 36 and got a perfed eardrum as a bonus. No wonder kids yell so hard! Hurts like crazy and the inside of your head feels all funny. Taking a shower was just a horrible experience.
And, now I’ve got to get over to the CB website and order a bunch of samples, since I too want to smell like a humpy, saucy person who’s just wrestled a pine tree to the ground. Thanks for your excellent review!
April 24th, 2006 at 4:20 am
Earache, toothache and tummyache - all untouchable pain - and make for the most miserable children.
My eldest son poked earbuds in his own ear to get rid of the pain - only to make it much much worse!!
Not sure how sex and christmas can smell compatible - so now I am going to have to go have a sniff for myself.
Heather
April 24th, 2006 at 11:41 am
Tania, I too am a little surprised you like the PE. Neat. “That’s exactly it: he makes great aromas that aren’t necessarily great perfumes” Yup. And given the name of his company, I guess it’s not so much a shocker anyhow, heh. I mean, I’ve a very loose definition of what constitues a perfume, but some of his creations fall into some mysterious other category I think, and I enjoy them whatever they are.
Sali, oops - I should have been more clear, that’s my fault. I get lazy typing. If you do have the chance to sniff it, please try it out? And I really don’t sense much as leather in it so I didn’t even bother mentioning it, but Robin did, so you may wish to reread over her review. I don’t think she found it a heavy note or anything though on her skin, so it might not be a worry at all.
sybil - you have clearly superior ears. First one not until your 30s? Lucky that! I never got them too often when I was a kid, but when I did it really threw me off-balance physically, on top of just hurting like hell. That sucks - your first one ever AND it’s perforated? Yikes. I hope you dig some of the CB stuff - he’s a wildly creative guy, and clearly has no lack of inspiration and talent.
Heather, oh dear, he poked his own earbuds? He must have been desperate and miserable to do that. Poor guy. The worst is that you can give them ibuprofen for the pain and inflamation, but it only has a minimal impact. Tummyaches are a whole ‘nother MESSY matter though - I really feel glad that we seem to have gotten through the flu season this year without catchng stomach bugs. I think you might find the PE very interesting Heather, there’s something very “nature-like” about it. It’s, like, a slightly feral patchouli?