Fendi Theorema
Fendi’s Theorema, translated I believe as “Theorem,” distills warm sun upon the skin with a simple spritz. It parlays the quiet pleasure of a satisfied cat napping in a window sunbeam into a fragrance.
Theorema brightens the senses with juiceless bursts of orange, which my nose identifies as mostly neroli. As orange peels back (har-har), nutmeg and cinnamon spice the dehydrated fruit. But these spices exist heatlessly. They hang upon my skin in a clarified angular air, devoid of any expected pungency. Yet they are unmistakably spices. Oh, but there is more to come.
Sandalwood plumes skyward, however it is as smokeless as an unlit stick of sandalwood incense. It smells dry, seeming like freshly sharpened pencils. And then I sense chocolate without smelling any chocolate at all. But wait, for this is leading to yet more discoveries.
I perceive patchouli leaves: I feel a bit self-conscious about mentioning it, so I want to note it is played as a subtle melody. It’s rather like the gentle hum of a keyboard behind the louder themes of a guitar-driven song. Amber and more dry wood form the base of the scent, but never at any point are the orange or cinnamon lost.
This fragrance contains all the complexity we expect from heavier “orientals,” but it is lighter. Effortless, even.
I choose carefully when to wear Theorema. To me, this perfume is worn to express joyful contentment. By this I do not mean the sort of “joy” that leads one to whoop and jump on couches, nor the sort of contentment that renders one smugly self-satisfied. It is the quiet happiness of enjoying your place and time in the world. What I sniff in Theorema is what I hear in Crowded House’s song Distant Sun (click to hear a brief clip, or right click and select “Save Target As.”) Both creations only reflect this emotional state back at me, for they cannot realistically induce it. Yet what a small and precious moment they approximate. All I require of this fragrance is that it lets its easy warmth radiate around me.
Theorema is no longer being sold in the US anymore. It is worth hunting down. I am of the opinion this fragrance did not catch on as it ought to have due to poor marketing. An old commercial from 1998 featuring cutesy cartoon characters leaves me perplexed, and a newer dark-and-stormy-night commercial doesn’t particularly connote what the juice of the perfume itself is like. Fendi has been recently swallowed up by the leviathan LVMH. They have focused their attention on turning Fendi into another of their mass market cash cows, and I fear Theorema is one of the casualties of this push. It’s a work of art, and as a majority of artists know, art alone does not always pay the bills. I understand the business drive to concentrate on the fast money-making products, but the slow rejection of Theorema still upsets me anyhow.
Image at top a collage: perfume bottle photo is from strawberrnet.com, and diagram is from dm.unipi.it. Second image entitled Golden Rectangle, by Dennis Hartley (freedgallery.com.) Second image entitled Echoes, by Jeff White (beppugallery.com.) Third image entitled Trees IX, by Robert Cook (artforte.com.) Fourth image entitled Lama at Sunset, by Jian Hai Zhao (artforte.com.) Last image from http://ihatemyflatmate.blogspot.com, a really funny blog to read that I recommend to anyone who has ever put up with crazy roomates. The song “Distant Sun” is off of Crowded Houses album Together Alone, available through Djangos or in a set with the album Woodface fromMusic Millenium
November 30th, 2005 at 6:32 am
Wonderful review! And I love the pictures, especially the last two (I want to be that Lama in those surroundings:-))
And you put it so well, Theorema does express joyful contenment…
November 30th, 2005 at 10:01 am
Theorema is one of my favourites too, yet very under-rated. I am glad that you reviewed it. It is spicy, yet avoids most of the spicy fragrance cliches. I might put it on right now. :)
November 30th, 2005 at 10:27 am
I don’t know if you have them is the US, but Theorema reminds me of Terry’s Chocolate Oranges. I have had both the edp and the parfum, both are gorgeous.
Barry
November 30th, 2005 at 2:10 pm
K, lovely description of one of my all-time favorites. It is a shame that it is no longer sold here, although so far, have not had any trouble finding it. When the local retailers start running out, I will panic!
November 30th, 2005 at 2:27 pm
Marina, I do, too, actually, but that Lama pic came the closest to summing up my feelings about Theorema.
Victoria, I hadn’t really thought about it avoiding cliches, but I know what you mean now that you mention it. There’s no heaviness or brocaded textures to this one at all.
Barry, we do have those Terry’s Chocolate Oranges here, but I think they taste just awful personally, so I couldn’t dare risk a comparison to those. But I know some folks on the various boards have felt the same way, so you’re not alone in that sentiment. It’s funny because while I do infer a “chocolate” scent, I don’t find a literal explicit chocolate note on my skin. Weird, but it’s a good weird. I can’t believe you have the parfum - my god, lucky lucky you. If you have a spare moment sometime, could you share if or how it differs at all from the edp?
Robin, I haven’t really spotted Theorema at the retailing outlets here at all. That’s great that you can still obtain it locally… wish it wasn’t being hemmed back in the distribution, and we could all easily obtain it still.
December 1st, 2005 at 9:36 am
I have always meant to try this one. Thank you for this review. It sounds like something I want very, very much. Man, I don’t know how I hang on to any money at all.
December 1st, 2005 at 11:19 am
I will certainly let you know. I don’t actually have a bottle of the Parfum, it was just a small decant that somebody let me have. I will try to find it and give it another try.
Barry
December 1st, 2005 at 1:07 pm
Tania, I’m in the same boat, frankly. At least we all have each other to commiserate with.
Barry, thanks. Just whenever you have time or the inclination to try it out again, I would appreciate it!
December 1st, 2005 at 6:14 pm
K, I am so happy you reviewed this! My mom and I have been passing a bottle of Theorema back and forth for a couple of years. I always “forget” to give it back to her, heheheh. Precious juice, this is.
December 1st, 2005 at 8:06 pm
Oh man, I think you’re going to be morally compelled to buy Mom a new bottle of Theorema shortly! ;D
December 2nd, 2005 at 8:09 am
Yep. After reading your review I was reminded of how much I love Theorema and I could feel the urge to hoard it begin to build.
I shall hunt down a new bottle for Mom for Christmas…and another for myself while I’m at it…
December 2nd, 2005 at 3:46 pm
Double duty Christmas shoppping, I love it.
December 4th, 2005 at 12:05 am
Wow - astute perfume observation, great art, and a Crowded House fan to boot!I am surely glad that I found your blog! :-D
December 4th, 2005 at 4:08 pm
Flora, thanks! And I am glad you found it, too. Anyone who’s a Crowded House fan is clearly of superior taste. ;)
December 5th, 2005 at 9:46 am
Hi K! Brill review! I have to re-test this in the near future.
Sounds like something I may enjoy in cold winter days.
December 5th, 2005 at 3:26 pm
My wife tried this as a tester but she felt there was just to many scents going on, she said that it was cofusing for her nose.
December 5th, 2005 at 7:11 pm
Neela: Oh yes, do try it out again. I feel this is one of those scents that takes a wee bit of time to appreciate, and I really think you’ll like it very much once you give it another whack.
Peter: That suprises me very much, to tell the truth. Theorema smells to me like dry straightforward lines, and rather unfussy for an oriental fragrance. You mentioned before she liked Baby Phat Goddess, which is another style entirely, so perhaps the manner of Theorema or its composition is simply not to her taste?
December 6th, 2005 at 1:33 pm
Hi! I’m new to this blog.
Theorema is one of faves. I’m glad you mention the chocolate association. During the middle phase, chocolate comes to mind even though I don’t actually smell it. Now I know I’m not the only one!
I was lucky enough to score a bottle of parfum on (American) eBay. To my unsophisticated nose, it smells identical to edp.
December 6th, 2005 at 2:11 pm
Yes - exactly during the middle phase! I’m glad someone else thinks chocolate without actually smelling it, too. Makes me feel a little less like I’ve got mutant skin doing strange things to all those molecules, heh. Thanks for the tip about the parfum. I think perhaps I will be quite content then with my edp if this is the case.