Baby Phat Goddess
Schadenfreude: I find it hard to resist. Consequently I obtained a small sample of Baby Phat Goddess, the fragrance from Kimora Lee Simmon’s fashion line, this weekend.
I didn’t approach this fragrance with an open mind for a number of reasons:
- The name, criminy, the name. “Baby Phat” aside, “Goddess” is a term I personally find extremely off-putting. Within the parlance of American vernacular, it’s a word women use to patronize other women. The colloquial usage is well-meaning but deeply misguided. To illustrate, a while back a young lady that I’m guessing was about sixteen years old came to my door to fundraise for her school. While there, she saw my kids running around the living room and chippered, “Oh you’re a mom! Right on, goddess!” She was wearing a t-shirt logo’ed with a gigantic pink Playboy magazine bunny. Sigh. Maybe I’m getting old and cantakerous before my time, and *I* am the one who doesn’t get it, but I have my doubts. Imagine men condescending to one another by casually referring to themselves as “gods.” We’d think they were behaving pompously or jockularly (spelling intended) snide.
- I enjoy the Baby Phat design aesthetic only for the unintentional comedy. To wit, look upon these shoes, which make the fashion statement of “do NOT eat the green acid!” Or glance upon the Cowl Gaucho Jumpsuit, designed only for the purpose of humiliating every body type in existence. Take a peek at this ensemble that I can’t describe due to a lack of knowing where oh where to begin with it. I tried my Goddess sample with the tasteless glory of the line already in mind.
- The addition of “bling” in the form of a ring that sits around the bottle’s neck is laughable juvenilia. Can we please be done with the phenomenon known as bling now? Pretty please? You know who else likes shiny things? Ostriches and small children. Moreover, including a prize trinket with the perfume strikes me as a Happy Meal approach. It infantilizes the packaging, which contrasts markedly from the “goddess” theme it strives for in name.
So what of the juice? Well, I can think of worse things to smell on another person. Goddess is objectless, and roundly bores me. A distinctionless fruit and white floral mix, with touches of pink pepper (which, I think just about everyone and their dog is using these days) that all dries down into musks which were clearly chosen for their bleached and inoffensive qualities. Goddess would have been forgettable had I not thought to take notes. The above description is the sum total of those notes. It’s thankfully not a tacky fragrance, but it dulls by being dreadfully anticlimactic. Hmm, very much like a Happy Meal, in fact, which always sound more fun than they really are. Is this what commerical perfumery will come to? McFragrances for a Happy Meal culture? Let us hope not.
No images or sounds could properly convey my reaction to Baby Phat Goddess aside from those of the clothing line itself, so there’s just a long-winded commentary today.
November 28th, 2005 at 6:15 am
Oh this is hilarious!
And you are so right about infantilizing the packaging. J Lo is guilty of that too.
As for the “perfume” itself…it wasn’t exactly offensive, but it did make want to scrub it off. It had almost an aquatic undertone which I disliked. And may I add, the name “Goddess” was wishful thinking on the part of creators. The juice is not insignificant to match it.
November 28th, 2005 at 8:50 am
I enjoyed reading the intro! Your take on fragrance is similar to mine–I have smelled worse things. Pink and glitzy is definitely not my style, however the fragrance is not that bad. Just like so many others on the market.
November 28th, 2005 at 9:08 am
LOL — thanks for the very funny post, K! I tried it a few weeks ago and can’t even remember what I thought of it, so I guess that is what I thought of it :-)
November 28th, 2005 at 9:36 am
Darn Monday mornings…what I meant by my last sentence was that the juice was not significant enough to match the name Goddess…arrgh! *pours another cup of coffee*
November 28th, 2005 at 10:29 am
Ha ha, another superb post.
The name of this scent would turn me straight away. I don’t think that I would have been able to even test it…You are a very brave woman…no, A GODDESS….tee hee.
Barry
November 28th, 2005 at 12:00 pm
I tried this too for the same reasons! Oh, Kimora, it’s like she *invented* tacky, that’s how much she owns it. In the end, though, it’s just another thin, forgettable fruity floral built on a clean white musk. This whole genre, actually, just smells like Windex to me.
November 28th, 2005 at 12:01 pm
P.S. “Happy Meal approach” is an excellent way to put it. I am so tempted to say to you, “You go, goddess.”
November 28th, 2005 at 12:45 pm
J-Lo is guilty of it too, you’re right Marina. It’s a trend I hope will evaporate soon.
I think the funniest comment I got on this scent was actually from my neighbor’s daughter, who picked up on my scent and happily concluded, “Oh that’s a nice body spray you have on now. I thought you only ever wore perfume.” Hee.
And no more calling me “Goddess” you jokers! I’ll so totally block you from commenting. ;)
November 29th, 2005 at 9:56 am
K, great picks on the Baby Phat outfits and shoes. To think that Kimora & co. have the audacity to rip off the venerable name of Pucci when describing those LSD-reminiscent sandals! Yikes!
And the jumpsuit…I will have nightmares…it appears to be one of those magical garments that automatically seeks out cellulite and emphasizes it. The military would do well to adopt similar technology; they’d be able to invent a much more effective heat-seeking missile. Or maybe - even better - a Kimora Lee-seeking missile.
I felt the same way as you about the juice…bor-ing. And the little “ring” decoration is just so silly…
November 29th, 2005 at 1:14 pm
Hee! I should have just known you’d have some choice words about this subject. I actually left out what I think is the funniest one: the Camo Bling jacket. Anything I say about it wouldn’t be nearly as funny as the thing itself really. Also I do find this pretty funny: the bling-fashion Bob and Doug McKenzie hats. Seriously, Strange Brew instantly popped into my head when I saw these.
November 30th, 2005 at 9:47 am
If your a woman who is in to her floral fragrances then I would recommend goddess, my wife and daughter absolutely love the stuff.
December 1st, 2005 at 5:46 am
Well, you killed that lemming. :) Kidding! Very funny review
December 1st, 2005 at 1:10 pm
Peter, to each their own, of course. It’s not a fragrance that offends my nose, I just find it dreadfully dull personally. Thankfully, we all have our differing opinions about these sorts of things, so it’s nice that two of the ladies in your life can enjoy it.
Patty, thanks :)
March 19th, 2006 at 12:07 pm
this is most intelligent and witty review I have ever read
March 19th, 2006 at 1:43 pm
Hi Jardanel - thanks!